Socrates Meets a Red Sox Fan

Red Sox fans are obnoxious, but only towards the Yankees and their fans. One day, after the 2003 playoff series between the Sox and Yanks, where the Yanks eliminated them in 7 games, I was talking to one, and when I told him I'm a Yankees fan, his pre-programmed instinctual reflex kicked in and he spit out, "Yankees suck!" So, I decided to transform into Socrates, and questioned him.

"Why would you diss your Red Sox like that?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" he said, "I was dissing YOUR team!"

"No, you were dissing the Red Sox."

"Really! How's that?"

"Well," I began, "which team won the series?"

He studied my eyes and answered, "the Yankees."

"Right," I said. "And didn't the Sox have a great season this year?"

"Yeah."

"And didn't they play really well in that series?"

"Yeah, they did."

"And, from your experience as a sports fan, would you agree that the team that plays better wins the game?"

"Yeah."

"And wouldn't you agree that the team that wins the most games wins the series?"

"Yeah, so what's that got to do with me dissing your team?"

"Well, according to what you just said, didn't the Yankees play better in more games than the Sox in order to win the series?"

"Yeah, okay, we can agree on that."

"So, the Yankees must have played better than the Red Sox in order to beat them, right?"

"Of course, duh!" he said.

"Then wouldn't you honestly agree that the better team won the series?" I asked.

"Well, yeah...I guess so. But what's your point?"

"Well, by saying that the Yankees suck, aren't you actually saying that the Sox got beaten by a team that sucks? Don't you find that a bit disturbing, that your team would play that well all season, and that well in the playoffs and still lose to a team that sucks?"

The Sox fan then scrunched up his face, looking like he just ate a lemon.

"Now, on the other hand, if you said the Yankees are a great team, then there is no shame in playing the best you can and still losing to a better team, right?"

"Well," he paused, "I guess if you play against a better player or team, you're bound to lose , even if you give it your all. Yeah, no shame in that, I guess."

"So," I said, leading him home to my conclusion, "wouldn't you agree then that the Red Sox played great but lost to the better team?"

"Yeah, they do have a great team, I guess. That's why we hate them."

"I know, I understand that. So, after thinking about it, would you say that the Sox got beaten by a team that sucks, or by a great team?"

"A great team."

"So, honestly, do the Yankees truly suck?"

"I guess not--" and he suddenly cut himself off in mid-sentence. "Hey! Wait a minute! No, no no! No way! Nah-uh. I can't be talking like that. You kiddin' me? Yankees suck!"

(Sigh). Just when I though I could teach the animal to reason, the pressure of rational truth was simply too much for him, and he reverted back to the animalistic brain that characterizes what is known today as "Red Sox Nation." Oh well, I tried! LOL

(C)2009, Christos Rigakos